I asked a question on Facebook about people’s take on seduction and what it has to do with business and art. I got really interesting answers, many of which had sexual connotations. The beauty of the space we occupy in existence right now, is that many words and experiences have become richer with meaning and more complex with context. I have conceptualized “seduction” in a manner that I hope might make some meaning to you.
Seduction is an art. One that embodies the mastery of the entirety of your being, not “doing”, and harnesses it to emit an allure that triggers a certain kind of desire from another person or a group of people. So yes, you can master your body and use it to create a visual image that arouses another party’s senses or you can simply employ your voice to convey words and nuances that stir up an intended atmosphere within the other person or group of people. The intention of this article is not to explore seduction as an art in the sexual context, even though that might come in handy; we are talking about adaptation of what one might consider a soft skill to business, art and perhaps, daily living.
While I am still mastering the art, I have been able to rope in the desired reaction from people, at one time or another, simply by accentuating inherent elements that I have honed into a magnetic tools, if I dare call it that.
Lately, I have been listening to a lot of experts on the art of seduction while examining my personal experience harnessing the art, and have come to realize that if 2/3 of the world can master this art beyond the bedroom, we will set off a mind-blowing chain reaction hinged to harnessing strengths, creating desire for these enhanced assets and fulfilling needs and cultivating appreciation. I’m talking global change.
Let’s get down to important knowledge areas in mastering the art of seduction.
1) Be Intentional
Have an intent. There’s a reason you want to send out all that current and there’s a certain kind of vibe to let out and you do not achieve heightened results by just being. Being is wonderful but here, your doing is what matters. You must be sensitive to responses, nuances, signals and must respond in a way that answers to a need in the other party. I listened to a TED Talk by Seema Anand and she spoke about how Cleopatra (one of the greatest seductresses ever) was able to seduce and keep Julius Caesar. She chose to always be happy when she was with him so that he would always associate thoughts of her with his happiest moments. How powerful is that? This is especially important for long term relationships, be they business and personal. You must decide on what stimulus to incite and harness your intrinsic energy for that purpose.
2) Blur the Borders of Insecurity
I learned something really powerful from Chen Lizra. The Cubans are one of the most seductive people in the world and this is informed by the fact that they are a communist state. Firstly, Cubans use words to instill self-confidence and an acknowledgement of self-sufficiency in their children from a very long age. So a child bends to wiggle her waist and gets an “Oh Catalina, you’re so beautiful”. What has that got to do with anything you might ask? Everything! Catalina grows to appreciate that she’s beautiful no matter what she finds herself doing. So she could turn out to be a janitor with the strut of a supermodel, constantly giving off an effortless vibe that conveys “I’m beautiful always”. So there you find guy who thinks “she looks great every time her lips are pale” and another who thinks “I’d kill to always see her in red lipstick”.
Secondly, being a communist state, there are no ads from competing businesses trying to convince people that they have to be in a certain way to attain a certain kind of life. Do you now see what sustains the healthy self-esteem? So we’d have individuals who are not as conscious that their hips are slim or that their curl pattern is not right, in response to the unbridled reconstruction of the mind by the media. The aura they exude comes from an inner harmony of their body and mind without limitations based on societal perceptions in a tussle with self-image.
You must accept your seeming flaws as fundamental to the entirety of yourself to create that harmony that you can then channel through your voice or strut or scent or gestures. This underlying current, like tides, carries people into you because in those moments they aspire for something in you and would most likely feel they need what you’re offering. Insecurity blinds people to this dimension of you because you subconsciously emit an energy that traps this essence when you constantly dwell on all that negativity.
Many times, if we truly get this right, we notice that no one notices those flaws we once cared about.
3) Textures and Forms
One of my favorite recipes is sweet potato porridge garnished with carrots and cucumbers. Here’s the interesting part: I never let the vegetables cook so they stay very crunchy. When my teeth meets a crunch in the midst of all that mash, it feels like the recipe is saying to me “I am all that you expect and so much more”. You must set a spin to your technique and every single time, there’s a different reaction to a different shade of grey. *winks* Seema in one of her talks, spoke about perfumes and scents as a seduction tools and I was intrigued. So the hair would be perfumed with Huss, neck with jasmine, arms with mint, navel with very heady musk, the waist curve with a subtle extract of roses and the back dotted with little dabs of sandal wood. The beauty of being intentional here is that you’d consider the amounts and application techniques. Now tell me, how do you recover from the presence of such a man or woman on a still night where the wind all but takes you on a ride into each scent and its own spectacular journey?
You must master your channel in a way that you can arrest people senses by appealing to different pressure points. Maybe it’s the element of surprise, or plugging in a much missed piece of anything or just tantalizing with an array of options that can drive the mind crazy with want and expectation. This is where your skill and your ability to apply it to diverse business contexts come in. This can be portrayed through capabilities, products, mode of delivery etc.
4) Effective Seduction
I find this interesting because this is the part that brings about retention and trust. If I were walking by a stranger and wanted a fleeting connection then perhaps, ensuring that the desire I drew out of him is optimally satisfied may not be on the top of my list. But for you, who wants to keep clients, friends, lovers, that may be vital. Is it enough to rouse all that want and pull in people, what do you satiate them with? It is the knowledge of this that allows people reserve a mental space for you; associate certain emotions and reactions with you and establish loyalty.
This is my theory. After a while, I would begin to resist if a person would often seduce me, awaken a need and leave me hanging.
Quick question. What exactly were you pulling the person towards? What did you intend to give or sell or share that necessitated your actions and inactions? I hope this makes sense to you. I love the melody in the way your voice soars on the wind to me but what words do they carry? What is the essence of the content of your speech? Is it a question to necessitate an honest response to an issue or poetry to heal me from hurt? What do people get from you when they let themselves be drawn to you?
This is one thing every great seducer has in common. The shy will most likely aspire for this or be intrigued, the brave will most likely be impressed, the feisty perhaps challenged but in all, you will get their attention. This is raw material you need to work with. It is then your prerogative to build this attention into what you deem fit, in line with your mission. I must say that competence births confidence. It’s easy to ooze confidence when you are sure of what you are doing or who you are as it fits into the scheme of things. So look like it, talk like it, gesture like it and shine like it.
This is probably the best time to add that subtlety intertwined with confidence is almost always irresistible, and wits and humor almost never leave you embarrassed, if you know just how to make them work fluidly.
Making the best out of life in general is to a large extent, dependent upon how well you position yourself to take advantage of opportunities. You may not go from bland to a human magnet in a day but you can adjust your mannerisms, lifestyle, expectations and unlearn the habits that do not let you manifest your essence in its entirety. Systems are built to serve businesses but people themselves are the spirit and soul of business. You must master the art of living without doing it from the background of your own life.
I’d be happy to hear your thoughts on this topic.